SAHM

I was at the park the other day and over heard some moms discussing parenthood. The four ladies were all stay at home moms, and one piped up and said "Aren't we blessed?" There seemed to be a murmur of agreement (at least from my eavesdropping standpoint). For some reason, I cannot seem to get that moment out of my mind.

Motherhood has been much more challenging, exhausting, guilt ridden and frustrating than I ever imagined. Days seem to lapse one into another with milk spills, temper tantrums, poopy diapers, new pink marker artwork on the floor, and a constant stream of laundry. The highlights on certain days are when I can get a tomato stain out of a shirt and finish my coffee while, gasp, it is still hot. I find myself feeling inadequate, guilty for a whole list of not enough's and too manys. Not enough stories, vegetables, outside play time, crafts, park days, friends, patience. Too many hours in front of the TV, cookies, time outs.

Why can't I focus on the positive? The drooly kisses from Annika? The giant hugs from Kayden? The "I love you mommies"? The growing imagination seen in both my girls? The "help" offered when making dinner?

Since the day at the park, I have been striving to find the glimpses of happiness and hold on to those. Not always has it been easy (insert major screaming fit by Kayden in silent children's library), but I am trying. When I offered my whining children to the little old lady at Walmart today, she said she would gladly take them, that they grow up fast. She's right. And she didn't take them.

My prayer is to find the joy in motherhood.

At the end of the day, yes, I am blessed to be a stay at home mom.